so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
