fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
