I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
