weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
