What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
