STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
