anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
