dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
