so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
