well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
