i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
