I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
