i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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