just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
