yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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