thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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