Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
