Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
