obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
