That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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