Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
