I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
