You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
