I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
