im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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