I'm really into asian looking animals
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
