...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
