oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I hate all girls vehemently.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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