Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
