Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize