I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The air was thick with penises
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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