Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
