In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
