I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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