1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
