On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
