Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
