porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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