it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
