im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
