So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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