I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
