sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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