i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
