I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You were trust falling into bushes
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
