He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
