mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
