Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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