So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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