Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
