i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
