I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
